Each year, we exchange Christmas cards Mike Utton who Richard learned to ring with as a teenager in Suffolk. This year, his card had a paper insert, on which the following poem was printed. The poem was written by Dilys England and it appeared in Birstall Church Magazine in 2002. Some of the names in the poem are very familiar!

Richard and Sally Brown

RINGING CHURCH BELLS

A Guide for the Uninitiated

Ringing church bells is an age-old tradition
Not undertaken if you lack ambition.
Control of your bell is the first thing to learn
And then there’s the language for you to discern

There are ‘tail-ends’ and sallies’, long draught and short
Hand-stroke and back-stroke, and ropes to be caught.
Tenor and Treble, Look-to and Stand,
And a group of bellringers is known as a band.

They ring the bells up and they ring the bells down
And in between that change the bell places round.
They go in the hunt without horse, hound or fox
And some of the ringers will stand on a box.

They ring things called ‘Methods and ‘Principles’ too,
Grandsire and Cambridge or Stedman will do.
Major and Minor, Triples and Cinques,
And also Mixed Doubles – not quite what one thinks!

The ringers themselves come from all walks of life
With sisters and brothers, husband and wife.
There are Farmers, Accountants and Men of the Law,
Doctors and Teachers, retired folk galore.

Meet Tony and Roland, Garry and Sue,
Gail, Gus and Gwyneth to name but a few.
Terry and Richard, Francis and Jane,
Karen and Wally – but what’s in a name?

He may be the parson on number 5 bell,
Or Lord of the Manor, you never can tell.
Your social position means nothing at all
When someone says ‘bob’ or a ‘single’ is called.

Experienced ringers are good at their art,
And patient with learners when they make a start,
But when you’ve advanced, and have learned to ‘ring-in’
Beware – for that’s when their patience wears thin.

When you’re often corrected, just don’t get ‘uptight
And try not to argue, though you know you’re right!
Your teacher is learned, he knows what is best,
So listen to him and forget all the rest!

Lead shouts Conductor’ get down to the front,
You’ll hold up the Method, you need a good shunt.
Your backstoke’s too slow – I’ve told you before,
Take in some rope, you’ll achieve so much more’

Red-faced, you try harder and pull in your bell,
Then gallop to sixth’s like a bat out of hell.
There are frowns all around, your bell’s in the wrong place
You’d better run-in, someone’s left you a space.

Next week you turn up with the highest of hopes,
You’ll show them this time how well you know the ropes.
You’ve studied the ‘blue-line’, it isn’t that hard,
You’ll ring it so well; you will earn their regard.

Then Conductor says Go and you make a good start
You get to the ‘bob’ – and you promptly lose heart.
Your brain is in neutral, the grey cells won’t crank
In despair you admit that your mind is a blank.

Come on now – keep going – and do not give up
You know you can do it, this is just a hiccup.
Look – there is the Treble – and your dodging bell.
Then you’re back on the line and you’re doing quite well.

When Conductor at last says the magic word “Stand’
You set up your bell and you glance round the band.
There is usually silence but wait a short while,
If you’re very lucky, they may nod and smile!

Please don’t be put off now, it isn’t all strife,
You’ll have lots of fun and you’ll make friends for life.
So take up the challenge, we’ll show you the way,
There’s a shortage of ringers – England needs you today!